I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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