I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
