so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
