after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
