is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize