dude i'm inner monologue high
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
