Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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