if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize