you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
