Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
