She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Your penis caused this!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
