Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
