Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
