so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
