Will you blow on my dice?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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