So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
