Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
