I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
