Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The struggles of a small town man whore
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
