Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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