I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
