Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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