its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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