Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?

(828): View more from North Carolina

Is it working?

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(206): View more from Washington

Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.

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(979): View more from Texas

There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night

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(214): View more from Texas

How does one acquire holy water?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.

(803): View more from South Carolina

Pride rock will get you every time.

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