Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
