love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
