how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
