he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
