Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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