Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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