remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
