time to smoke my breakfast
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
