sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
