I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
