When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
