It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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