Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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