im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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