Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The air was thick with penises
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
