We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
