Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
