where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
