Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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