I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
