I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
