I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
