i think my tv is drunk
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
