I think i sorta joined a cult last night
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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