Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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