return my video game
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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