Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
