Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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