Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
