TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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