My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
